Showing posts with label parenting. Show all posts
Showing posts with label parenting. Show all posts
Wednesday, October 9, 2013
Thursday, August 22, 2013
Hippie Mom!! (updated)
We've found a song that my whole family says has most definitely been written especially about me.
(UPDATE)
I realized that you have to create a Spotify account to play that...
Here's a YouTube video of the same song :0)
My husband played it for us this morning without preamble, and everyone immediately started remarking how "That's mom!"
I've been honoring requests to "play it again" all day now, and each time, a new verse is noticed: "just like you, mama!"
So...
I'm sharing the awesomeness with you
(UPDATE)
I realized that you have to create a Spotify account to play that...
Here's a YouTube video of the same song :0)
Thursday, August 15, 2013
Can Your Child Tell if Someone is Impersonating an Officer? Mine Can (Now).
We had a scary thing happen a few weeks ago.
The children were attending VBS (something I fought against for a while, but eventually did, and am glad we did). The church where they were going is so close, that in the winter, when there are no leaves, I can see it from our property. My 10 year old son wanted to walk there ahead of me and arrive independently. My initial reaction was to say "NO!" and keep him "safely" with me,
BUT...
He's 10. (whimper!)
and I (largely) subscribe to a lot of the ideas behind "Free Range Parenting", one basic idea of which is that we need to equip and educate our children and give them freedom and independence. So I let him. We followed about 5 minutes behind in our van. He was so happy to be there before me, to come out a greet me and open my door like he'd been there for hours without me. :0)
When we were talking over the evening, he mentioned talking with a police officer. I asked questions and we talked more, and this is what I learned.
As he was waiting to cross the road, a man pulled over and asked him if he was ok and where he was headed. He backed away a bit and hesitated to answer, whereupon the man said "Your parents told you not to talk to strangers, huh? That's good, but you can talk to me, I'm a police officer."
Then my son told him where he lives and that he's walking to VBS "right there" (pointing) and that I'm right behind. The man said that he was just making sure everything was ok and drove away.
So far, ok.
BUT.
After more questions, I learned that:
The man was in a construction truck.
That his "police light" was an orange bubble on top of his truck, and red and white LEDs around the windshield.
That he had no badge.
That he had a "long, scruffy goatee" (in our area, police officers are allowed NO beards whatsoever).
Now.
If he had simply pulled over to check that my son was ok, that would be fine and dandy. I don't teach my children to never talk to strangers. We'd never make friends that way! I do teach them not to give out personal information or go anywhere with strangers. And often (not always, obviously, but often), "stranger" adults are being friendly and helpful, and you can make some great friends.
(Even Jaycee Duggard says we shouldn't be overprotective!)
But.
Once he lied and said he was a police officer in order to gain my son's trust?
Official "Creep" status has been bestowed.
Thankfully my son is just fine. I wanted to sleep in his bed with him that night just to hold him.
We have been talking a LOT now about what a real police officer looks like, does, says, has with him, etc..
I'm guessing none of my children will be fooled that way again!
We even had a very kind deputy come by, and show them what a real badge looks like, and talk about how around here a police man will never have a beard, and he will always have blue lights. He told them what an officer would likely say to them, how he will identify himself as Officer So-and-So, and (for the ones who can read) his ID will say the same last name. He reassured them that no officer will be offended at being asked to show his badge and ID, and that if they're still no feeling sure, they can call 911 and ask if there is an officer talking to a child wherever they are at the moment. (I didn't know that part!)
I had told them all of that (besides the 911 part), but it was definitely more impressive and memorable coming from a real live policeman! And they got to see a real badge, which any nutcase can get off of the internet, but if they know all of the other, maybe a Creep won't push his case with just a badge. Especially the 911 part!
My point, (besides shouting from the housetop that my son is HERE, safe and sound!!) is taht maybe you should have a (non-terrifying) talk with your children, telling them that while not all strangers are bad, there are some bad strangers; that some of those bad strangers may pretend to be a police officer so that they can get away with doing bad things; and that there are ways to tell if it's a real police officer.
(1) Blue Lights. No one but police can have blue lights. There are very few unmarked cars with NO blue lights. An officer will turn them on to reassure a child. Amber, white, or red lights don't count.
(2) He will have his badge, no officer ever "leaves it at home / the office". He will show his badge.
(3) He will not (in our area, anyway) have a beard. Possibly a very trimmed mustache, but no beard.
(4) 911 will have a record of an officer talking to a child at that location, and the officer should have no problem with the child calling to ask.
Of course, all of this is assuming the child isn't just using all this to get out of trouble (think 15 yo trespassing, etc)!
The children were attending VBS (something I fought against for a while, but eventually did, and am glad we did). The church where they were going is so close, that in the winter, when there are no leaves, I can see it from our property. My 10 year old son wanted to walk there ahead of me and arrive independently. My initial reaction was to say "NO!" and keep him "safely" with me,
BUT...
He's 10. (whimper!)
and I (largely) subscribe to a lot of the ideas behind "Free Range Parenting", one basic idea of which is that we need to equip and educate our children and give them freedom and independence. So I let him. We followed about 5 minutes behind in our van. He was so happy to be there before me, to come out a greet me and open my door like he'd been there for hours without me. :0)
When we were talking over the evening, he mentioned talking with a police officer. I asked questions and we talked more, and this is what I learned.
As he was waiting to cross the road, a man pulled over and asked him if he was ok and where he was headed. He backed away a bit and hesitated to answer, whereupon the man said "Your parents told you not to talk to strangers, huh? That's good, but you can talk to me, I'm a police officer."
Then my son told him where he lives and that he's walking to VBS "right there" (pointing) and that I'm right behind. The man said that he was just making sure everything was ok and drove away.
So far, ok.
BUT.
After more questions, I learned that:
The man was in a construction truck.
That his "police light" was an orange bubble on top of his truck, and red and white LEDs around the windshield.
That he had no badge.
That he had a "long, scruffy goatee" (in our area, police officers are allowed NO beards whatsoever).
Now.
If he had simply pulled over to check that my son was ok, that would be fine and dandy. I don't teach my children to never talk to strangers. We'd never make friends that way! I do teach them not to give out personal information or go anywhere with strangers. And often (not always, obviously, but often), "stranger" adults are being friendly and helpful, and you can make some great friends.
(Even Jaycee Duggard says we shouldn't be overprotective!)
But.
Once he lied and said he was a police officer in order to gain my son's trust?
Official "Creep" status has been bestowed.
Thankfully my son is just fine. I wanted to sleep in his bed with him that night just to hold him.
We have been talking a LOT now about what a real police officer looks like, does, says, has with him, etc..
I'm guessing none of my children will be fooled that way again!
We even had a very kind deputy come by, and show them what a real badge looks like, and talk about how around here a police man will never have a beard, and he will always have blue lights. He told them what an officer would likely say to them, how he will identify himself as Officer So-and-So, and (for the ones who can read) his ID will say the same last name. He reassured them that no officer will be offended at being asked to show his badge and ID, and that if they're still no feeling sure, they can call 911 and ask if there is an officer talking to a child wherever they are at the moment. (I didn't know that part!)
I had told them all of that (besides the 911 part), but it was definitely more impressive and memorable coming from a real live policeman! And they got to see a real badge, which any nutcase can get off of the internet, but if they know all of the other, maybe a Creep won't push his case with just a badge. Especially the 911 part!
My point, (besides shouting from the housetop that my son is HERE, safe and sound!!) is taht maybe you should have a (non-terrifying) talk with your children, telling them that while not all strangers are bad, there are some bad strangers; that some of those bad strangers may pretend to be a police officer so that they can get away with doing bad things; and that there are ways to tell if it's a real police officer.
(1) Blue Lights. No one but police can have blue lights. There are very few unmarked cars with NO blue lights. An officer will turn them on to reassure a child. Amber, white, or red lights don't count.
(2) He will have his badge, no officer ever "leaves it at home / the office". He will show his badge.
(3) He will not (in our area, anyway) have a beard. Possibly a very trimmed mustache, but no beard.
(4) 911 will have a record of an officer talking to a child at that location, and the officer should have no problem with the child calling to ask.
Of course, all of this is assuming the child isn't just using all this to get out of trouble (think 15 yo trespassing, etc)!
Tuesday, August 13, 2013
Learning to Deal with Anger and Overwhelm.
I have been operating under a consistent state of overwhelm for the last several weeks.
I don't recommend it.
I don't think my family does either, for that matter. :0P
My Hero (a.k.a. The Mr.) saw what was going on last week and told me to take the evenings "off" all week. So, as soon as he got home, I grabbed my handy dandy backpack, loaded with my netbook, my sketchbook & markers, and various notebooks where I scribble my thoughts, along with a fiction book for brain candy breaks, and disappeared.
It was BLISSFUL.
I actually got to THINK!
Whole thoughts!
And finish an entire email! (in fact, lots of people got emails from me last week as I worked my way back to "inbox zero") :0)
And I got in some reading on some very helpful subjects, like preventing overwhelm, and how to handle it if it does happen. I've been learning how to stop reacting and start responding; which I've known for a long time is the way it's supposed to be, but not how.
Because I know from homeschooling 8 lil monkeys that teaching or telling someone else what you just learned is the best way to really "get it" yourself, I'll be sharing here as I learn.
First then:
When I am angry or overwhelmed :
B R E A T H E.
Repeat.
Remember that there are very few true crises. This most likely can wait 15 more seconds.
Pay attention to the breathing.
Breathe all the way in, fill up. Feel the air going into you.
Hold it a second or two.
Let it out slowly, feeling your self relax as you do.
Now.
Ask yourself: "Why am I angry / overwhelmed? What do I want?" Usually we get angry or overwhelmed because we're not getting something we want. Often what we want isn't realistic, or is dependent on other people, and we can't make others do as we want (so wanting to isn't realistic!)
Just realizing that what I want isn't realistic is enough for me to calm down and deal with things without feeling so frantic.
There are more questions I ask myself, more steps to take, that I"ll share in the next few posts.
Meanwhile, a great blog to read to learn about how to handle things when you realize that what you want is dependent on other people is Assume Love. It's technically a marriage blog, but the principles there are applicable to almost any relationship.
I don't recommend it.
I don't think my family does either, for that matter. :0P
My Hero (a.k.a. The Mr.) saw what was going on last week and told me to take the evenings "off" all week. So, as soon as he got home, I grabbed my handy dandy backpack, loaded with my netbook, my sketchbook & markers, and various notebooks where I scribble my thoughts, along with a fiction book for brain candy breaks, and disappeared.
It was BLISSFUL.
I actually got to THINK!
Whole thoughts!
And finish an entire email! (in fact, lots of people got emails from me last week as I worked my way back to "inbox zero") :0)
And I got in some reading on some very helpful subjects, like preventing overwhelm, and how to handle it if it does happen. I've been learning how to stop reacting and start responding; which I've known for a long time is the way it's supposed to be, but not how.
Because I know from homeschooling 8 lil monkeys that teaching or telling someone else what you just learned is the best way to really "get it" yourself, I'll be sharing here as I learn.
First then:
When I am angry or overwhelmed :
B R E A T H E.
Repeat.
Remember that there are very few true crises. This most likely can wait 15 more seconds.
Pay attention to the breathing.
Breathe all the way in, fill up. Feel the air going into you.
Hold it a second or two.
Let it out slowly, feeling your self relax as you do.
Now.
Ask yourself: "Why am I angry / overwhelmed? What do I want?" Usually we get angry or overwhelmed because we're not getting something we want. Often what we want isn't realistic, or is dependent on other people, and we can't make others do as we want (so wanting to isn't realistic!)
Just realizing that what I want isn't realistic is enough for me to calm down and deal with things without feeling so frantic.
There are more questions I ask myself, more steps to take, that I"ll share in the next few posts.
Meanwhile, a great blog to read to learn about how to handle things when you realize that what you want is dependent on other people is Assume Love. It's technically a marriage blog, but the principles there are applicable to almost any relationship.
Monday, June 3, 2013
Tuesday, May 28, 2013
Idyllic
My life is absolutely idyllic.
In the midst of unfinished work galore,
my refusal to be dominated by what I haven't accomplished allows me to see the bliss my life is drenched in.
So grateful.
In the midst of unfinished work galore,
my refusal to be dominated by what I haven't accomplished allows me to see the bliss my life is drenched in.
So grateful.
Wednesday, March 20, 2013
My Hat's Off to Some Other Moms
So, yes.
More on this idea of public beta. Either publish my rough draft, or never publish at all.
That's what it's come down to with me.
Because, as I am re- prioritizing, I'm finding out the *spending* time with my loved ones, rather than blogging perfectly *about* the time with my loved ones, is more important.
Part of what that looks like, is dictating blog posts as I drive down the road. And then, hitting publish without checking for grammar, punctuation, or spelling.
(Edited to add: I hit publish when I'm NOT driving)
Also, most of the time, without checking whether what I said was correctly captured. So if you encounter up your gibberish here, or word or two that just don't fit, blame it on a technology glitch and not me. ;0) (Okay, this time I checked. And I'm going to leave that there to show you what I mean. That was supposed to say "if you encounter PURE gibberish"!!!)
And here is where I take my hat off to working moms.
I cannot tell you how many times, when someone finds out I have eight children and homeschool, their response is "I don't know how you do it "
I usually respond with something along the lines of "one minute at a time" or something like that.
Now, my last few days have looked nothing like a 9-to-5 job:
Sunday, I supervised while my daughter baked three dozen cinnamon rolls to sell. Then I hung out at the end of the driveway while she sold them, making sure she gave the correct change and told her customers thank you. That was several hours.
Then my husband and I went to get wood. I stacked a truck load of firewood, while my man cut a few huge logs with his chainsaw.
Monday, we met with several others from our playgroup, and swam together at the pool for a while. I am just now realizing that can sound like a relaxing time to chat with other moms. But I had seven children with me, and none of them can swim. That's not a complaint that all, I enjoyed myself very much. But I didn't sit on the bench and watch the children play :0)
After swimming, we hurried home and just had time to get out of the wet clothes into dry ones before we drove half an hour away to my daughter's very first ever gymnastics lesson, that she bought with her cinnamon roll money. (She's been baking and selling cinnamon rolls at the end of our driveway for weeks now, because she has a dream of being a gymnast. With eight children we can't pay for every extracurricular that everyone wants, so we encourage them to find a way to do it themselves. Baking was her idea. So far she has saved enough for four months of lessons, and plans to keep going.) I very much enjoyed watching her very first class, and was so pleased with the way she threw herself right and, even though she is terribly shy. I had to divide my time though, because the other children were bored with watching after a very few minutes. There was a playground where she was taking her lessons, but because of insurance reasons and rules, the children couldn't go to the playground unless I was with them. So I spent the hour scurrying back and forth.
The minute gymnastics class was over, we drove home as fast as is legal, pulled out paper plates, and snarfed down the meal that I had put in the crockpot faster than any meal we have ever eaten as a family before. My highschooler had a chorus concert that I was determined we would not miss. We didn't miss it, thankfully.
Today we woke up and gave five of the fastest showers my children have pulled off, and headed to the dentist for five consecutive appointments. We brought along several toys to entertain the ones who were not getting their teeth cleaned as well as the ones who were too small to go into the dentist chair at all. My Knight in Shining Armor showed up near the end and picked up the children who were finished and took them to McDonald's. I stayed with the few who still weren't done. Then we all met at McDonald's for a little breather. (Can I just salvage a little bit of my pride and dignity here, and make sure you understand what a rare treat McDonald's is for our family? As in, we go maybe twice a year?)
Come home, exhaustedly pile out of the van, hire a child to clean it up, sneak upstairs to take a nap with hubby for 10 minutes, and head out again to take one to the chiropractor.
Tonight I'm pulling a lazy trick. We're having spaghetti for supper.
Like I said, my last few days have looked nothing like your average 9-to-5 workday. But I have been away from home for the majority of the day these days. And as I look around the atrocious mess that we are now living in, I shake my head and wonder
HOW on earth do working moms do it?
Tomorrow, we are STAYING HOME.
And cleaning house.
And I am going to thoroughly enjoy it.
I'm sure we will have another spurt of busy days soon. And I'm sure I'll clean up afterward. But I've just got to say, you ladies that do this all the time, you amaze me.
Just like you say, you could never have eight children, or you could never homeschool your children. I could never do what you do.
But we're all moms, and it's hard work whichever way you do it. And it's beautiful whichever way you do it.
More on this idea of public beta. Either publish my rough draft, or never publish at all.
That's what it's come down to with me.
Because, as I am re- prioritizing, I'm finding out the *spending* time with my loved ones, rather than blogging perfectly *about* the time with my loved ones, is more important.
Part of what that looks like, is dictating blog posts as I drive down the road. And then, hitting publish without checking for grammar, punctuation, or spelling.
(Edited to add: I hit publish when I'm NOT driving)
Also, most of the time, without checking whether what I said was correctly captured. So if you encounter up your gibberish here, or word or two that just don't fit, blame it on a technology glitch and not me. ;0) (Okay, this time I checked. And I'm going to leave that there to show you what I mean. That was supposed to say "if you encounter PURE gibberish"!!!)
And here is where I take my hat off to working moms.
I cannot tell you how many times, when someone finds out I have eight children and homeschool, their response is "I don't know how you do it "
I usually respond with something along the lines of "one minute at a time" or something like that.
Now, my last few days have looked nothing like a 9-to-5 job:
Sunday, I supervised while my daughter baked three dozen cinnamon rolls to sell. Then I hung out at the end of the driveway while she sold them, making sure she gave the correct change and told her customers thank you. That was several hours.
Then my husband and I went to get wood. I stacked a truck load of firewood, while my man cut a few huge logs with his chainsaw.
Monday, we met with several others from our playgroup, and swam together at the pool for a while. I am just now realizing that can sound like a relaxing time to chat with other moms. But I had seven children with me, and none of them can swim. That's not a complaint that all, I enjoyed myself very much. But I didn't sit on the bench and watch the children play :0)
After swimming, we hurried home and just had time to get out of the wet clothes into dry ones before we drove half an hour away to my daughter's very first ever gymnastics lesson, that she bought with her cinnamon roll money. (She's been baking and selling cinnamon rolls at the end of our driveway for weeks now, because she has a dream of being a gymnast. With eight children we can't pay for every extracurricular that everyone wants, so we encourage them to find a way to do it themselves. Baking was her idea. So far she has saved enough for four months of lessons, and plans to keep going.) I very much enjoyed watching her very first class, and was so pleased with the way she threw herself right and, even though she is terribly shy. I had to divide my time though, because the other children were bored with watching after a very few minutes. There was a playground where she was taking her lessons, but because of insurance reasons and rules, the children couldn't go to the playground unless I was with them. So I spent the hour scurrying back and forth.
The minute gymnastics class was over, we drove home as fast as is legal, pulled out paper plates, and snarfed down the meal that I had put in the crockpot faster than any meal we have ever eaten as a family before. My highschooler had a chorus concert that I was determined we would not miss. We didn't miss it, thankfully.
Today we woke up and gave five of the fastest showers my children have pulled off, and headed to the dentist for five consecutive appointments. We brought along several toys to entertain the ones who were not getting their teeth cleaned as well as the ones who were too small to go into the dentist chair at all. My Knight in Shining Armor showed up near the end and picked up the children who were finished and took them to McDonald's. I stayed with the few who still weren't done. Then we all met at McDonald's for a little breather. (Can I just salvage a little bit of my pride and dignity here, and make sure you understand what a rare treat McDonald's is for our family? As in, we go maybe twice a year?)
Come home, exhaustedly pile out of the van, hire a child to clean it up, sneak upstairs to take a nap with hubby for 10 minutes, and head out again to take one to the chiropractor.
Tonight I'm pulling a lazy trick. We're having spaghetti for supper.
Like I said, my last few days have looked nothing like your average 9-to-5 workday. But I have been away from home for the majority of the day these days. And as I look around the atrocious mess that we are now living in, I shake my head and wonder
HOW on earth do working moms do it?
Tomorrow, we are STAYING HOME.
And cleaning house.
And I am going to thoroughly enjoy it.
I'm sure we will have another spurt of busy days soon. And I'm sure I'll clean up afterward. But I've just got to say, you ladies that do this all the time, you amaze me.
Just like you say, you could never have eight children, or you could never homeschool your children. I could never do what you do.
But we're all moms, and it's hard work whichever way you do it. And it's beautiful whichever way you do it.
Tuesday, March 12, 2013
When Mothering is Hard
Dear Moms of Littles,
When it's all getting a little bit hard,
when you don't think you can get up in the middle of the night one more time,
when the chattering of your two-year-old is driving you up the wall,
when you're 5, 6, or 7-year-old's need for independence is making your eyes roll back in your head,
Just
stop.
Take a deep breath.
Remember: they are a whole, entire person.
Just trying to make it.
Just trying to figure things out.
Just trying to BE a whole, entire person.
Trying to figure out how to handle their own wants and emotions, without having to handle yours too.
And then realize, that someday they will text you something like this, as they're on their way to school:
When it's all getting a little bit hard,
when you don't think you can get up in the middle of the night one more time,
when the chattering of your two-year-old is driving you up the wall,
when you're 5, 6, or 7-year-old's need for independence is making your eyes roll back in your head,
Just
stop.
Take a deep breath.
Remember: they are a whole, entire person.
Just trying to make it.
Just trying to figure things out.
Just trying to BE a whole, entire person.
Trying to figure out how to handle their own wants and emotions, without having to handle yours too.
And then realize, that someday they will text you something like this, as they're on their way to school:
Monday, March 4, 2013
Proud Mama!
I just have to brag.
She's decided not to take AP classes, because she's going to be doubling up and doing her Junior year and Senior year concurrently next year and graduating early. We all (her, parents, school officials) agree that she should do *either* AP *or* Early Graduation, but to combine them may be too much. Early Graduation is a better fit for her life goals, so there ya go!
Saturday, February 2, 2013
{Five Minute Friday} Afraid
Have you seen / heard of Five Minute Friday?
Lisa-Jo Baker hosts it on her blog.
What??
You don't know who Lisa-Jo Baker is??
Wow.
I am honored to point you in her direction.
This may sound sappy or melodramatic, and only those who know me will "get" just how much this means, because I don't say things like this lightly.
She has changed my life.
I won't go into the many things I've learned in her company, there's not room or time. Plus, I couldn't yet do them justice.
One of the things that has been a vehicle of learning for me, is her Five Minute Friday Party. Here is her description:
Friday, time to crack open the chocolate ice cream and unscripted version of beautiful you!
Got five minutes? Let’s write. Let’s finger paint with words –>{click to tweet}.
Let’s just write and not worry if it’s just right or not. Here’s how to play along:
1. Write for 5 minutes flat for pure unedited love of the written word.
2. Link back here and invite others to join in {you can grab the button code in my blog footer}
3. Go leave some comment props for the five minute artist who linked up before you {and if you love us, consider turning off word verification for the day to make it easier for folks to say howdy}
It’s a great way to catch your breath at the end of a long week.
OK, are you ready? Give me your best five minutes for the prompt:
This week, I decided to jump in.
Then.
I saw the prompt.
Can I back out??
Afraid
What am I afraid of? Lots of things, despite what I would've told you only a few short years ago. My worst fear? Not sharing that one. Nope.
But my next worst?
Messing up with my children.
Hitting the brick wall of Mommy Burnout.
Focusing on the "Wrong Thing" and missing the "Right Thing".
Living with regret.
For a long time, I was afraid to Write Naked.
Still am, actually.
Then I read this, and my definitions changed.
I'm still afraid.
But not so much.
I'm afraid that my chidlren will remember that I was grumpy when the house was messy but not that I played lots of games with them.
I'm afraid that they will think that they aren't the most important people in the world to me.
I'm afraid that they will think they are responsible for my feelings.
I'm afraid that my friends will think I'm a slob.
I'm afraid that people will think that I'm a poor mom.
Times' up.
Lisa-Jo Baker hosts it on her blog.
What??
You don't know who Lisa-Jo Baker is??
Wow.
I am honored to point you in her direction.
This may sound sappy or melodramatic, and only those who know me will "get" just how much this means, because I don't say things like this lightly.
She has changed my life.
I won't go into the many things I've learned in her company, there's not room or time. Plus, I couldn't yet do them justice.
One of the things that has been a vehicle of learning for me, is her Five Minute Friday Party. Here is her description:
Friday, time to crack open the chocolate ice cream and unscripted version of beautiful you!
Got five minutes? Let’s write. Let’s finger paint with words –>{click to tweet}.
Let’s just write and not worry if it’s just right or not. Here’s how to play along:
1. Write for 5 minutes flat for pure unedited love of the written word.
2. Link back here and invite others to join in {you can grab the button code in my blog footer}
3. Go leave some comment props for the five minute artist who linked up before you {and if you love us, consider turning off word verification for the day to make it easier for folks to say howdy}
It’s a great way to catch your breath at the end of a long week.
OK, are you ready? Give me your best five minutes for the prompt:
This week, I decided to jump in.
Then.
I saw the prompt.
Can I back out??
Afraid
What am I afraid of? Lots of things, despite what I would've told you only a few short years ago. My worst fear? Not sharing that one. Nope.
But my next worst?
Messing up with my children.
Hitting the brick wall of Mommy Burnout.
Focusing on the "Wrong Thing" and missing the "Right Thing".
Living with regret.
For a long time, I was afraid to Write Naked.
Still am, actually.
Then I read this, and my definitions changed.
I'm still afraid.
But not so much.
I'm afraid that my chidlren will remember that I was grumpy when the house was messy but not that I played lots of games with them.
I'm afraid that they will think that they aren't the most important people in the world to me.
I'm afraid that they will think they are responsible for my feelings.
I'm afraid that my friends will think I'm a slob.
I'm afraid that people will think that I'm a poor mom.
Times' up.
Tuesday, January 29, 2013
Our Weekly Rhythm
I've finally got a daily rhythm down that WORKS.
(Yes, I said "finally" even though I have 8 children)
It took me WEEKS of work and thought to whittle my expectations for a day down to 24 hours.
Seriously.
I read this post, and thought, "Well. I'll write down a rough idea of what all I do (er, try to do) in a day, and add up the time spent and see how much spare time I have, because since I can't fit in all the reading and crafting and playing with my children and other things that I want, then I must be wasting copious amounts of time in utter frivolity."
My first attempt came up at 28 hours on the light days, 32 on the heavy ones.
Ahem.
Another day, I'll share with you my steps from there to here.
Today, I'll show you the weekly rhythm we're trying (& liking!).
(Hint: backing off and looking at the weekly rhythm before the daily is a bit of how I whittled my day down to 24 hours)
I saw this online somewhere and snapped a screenshot of it and moved on, so I can't give credit to where I got it, but if you know where it is, let me know and I'll gladly put a link here!
Mondays: Make Something Monday
We do a craft, or even just build a really great train track in the living room, or (like last week) have sewing lessons... Make something.
Tuesdays: Time To Read Tuesday
We either go to the library to trade for "new" books, or we pile up all over the living room on couches and bean bags and read the library books we do have. This is separate from reading lessons and literature class in school. This is recreational reading, cozy, fun, and with a snack.
Wednesdays: What's Cooking Wednesday
Each child has a day of the week that is "their" day, and one of the things they do on "their" day is to be my sous chef. For What's Cooking Wednesday, we all cook something together, either supper (something new or special) or we all bake a sweet treat together.
Thursdays: Thoughtful Thursday
This one I hesitated about, only for a millisecond, out of habit. For so long, I would've scoffed at this, and sanctimoniously told you that I teach my children to be thoughtful every day. Ugh. I'm sorry. Now, yes, I try to teach my children every day to be thoughtful. But I do see a value in setting aside a time to be deliberate and intentional about it. It reminds us, because, let's face it, we are selfish and forget easily, even though I want kindness to be a habit for us all. And I think it will inspire some creativity and "special" acts of thoughtfulness when we know it's coming every Thursday.
So.
Thoughtful Thursday.
Moving on to:
Friday: Somewhere Fun Friday
This one's kind of easy, as there is a sweet mama-lady who heads up a playdate for lots of other sweet mama-ladies that I amm getting to know. We change that up every so often with other things to cater to different ages, so eventually everyone gets a turn to do something that's not so fun for them for the sake of someone older or younger, and everyone gets a turn to do something that is really fun for them.
So there you have it: our weekly rhythm.
This is all in clay, not concrete. I am not perfect, and we don't do perfect here.
I am (slowly) learning not to try to do perfect.
In the words of a lovely friend of mine:
"I am too busy for perfect. I'm justhoping shooting for happy."
(Yes, I said "finally" even though I have 8 children)
It took me WEEKS of work and thought to whittle my expectations for a day down to 24 hours.
Seriously.
I read this post, and thought, "Well. I'll write down a rough idea of what all I do (er, try to do) in a day, and add up the time spent and see how much spare time I have, because since I can't fit in all the reading and crafting and playing with my children and other things that I want, then I must be wasting copious amounts of time in utter frivolity."
My first attempt came up at 28 hours on the light days, 32 on the heavy ones.
Ahem.
Another day, I'll share with you my steps from there to here.
Today, I'll show you the weekly rhythm we're trying (& liking!).
(Hint: backing off and looking at the weekly rhythm before the daily is a bit of how I whittled my day down to 24 hours)
I saw this online somewhere and snapped a screenshot of it and moved on, so I can't give credit to where I got it, but if you know where it is, let me know and I'll gladly put a link here!
Mondays: Make Something Monday
We do a craft, or even just build a really great train track in the living room, or (like last week) have sewing lessons... Make something.
Tuesdays: Time To Read Tuesday
We either go to the library to trade for "new" books, or we pile up all over the living room on couches and bean bags and read the library books we do have. This is separate from reading lessons and literature class in school. This is recreational reading, cozy, fun, and with a snack.
Wednesdays: What's Cooking Wednesday
Each child has a day of the week that is "their" day, and one of the things they do on "their" day is to be my sous chef. For What's Cooking Wednesday, we all cook something together, either supper (something new or special) or we all bake a sweet treat together.
Thursdays: Thoughtful Thursday
This one I hesitated about, only for a millisecond, out of habit. For so long, I would've scoffed at this, and sanctimoniously told you that I teach my children to be thoughtful every day. Ugh. I'm sorry. Now, yes, I try to teach my children every day to be thoughtful. But I do see a value in setting aside a time to be deliberate and intentional about it. It reminds us, because, let's face it, we are selfish and forget easily, even though I want kindness to be a habit for us all. And I think it will inspire some creativity and "special" acts of thoughtfulness when we know it's coming every Thursday.
So.
Thoughtful Thursday.
Moving on to:
Friday: Somewhere Fun Friday
This one's kind of easy, as there is a sweet mama-lady who heads up a playdate for lots of other sweet mama-ladies that I amm getting to know. We change that up every so often with other things to cater to different ages, so eventually everyone gets a turn to do something that's not so fun for them for the sake of someone older or younger, and everyone gets a turn to do something that is really fun for them.
So there you have it: our weekly rhythm.
This is all in clay, not concrete. I am not perfect, and we don't do perfect here.
I am (slowly) learning not to try to do perfect.
In the words of a lovely friend of mine:
"I am too busy for perfect. I'm just
Monday, January 28, 2013
"Baby Carrots" Means "Carrots For Babies", Right?
Thursday, November 8, 2012
Diagnosis & Prescription
Even though my average week is nowhere near the week described in this post, the diagnosis of "Mommy Burnout" hits the nail on the head when describing my bad days.
That's REALLY hard to admit.
The tongue-in-cheek post describes how to "acheive" mommy burnout.
I've followed the prescription quite well, and it does deliver the promised result!
ugh.
That's REALLY hard to admit.
The tongue-in-cheek post describes how to "acheive" mommy burnout.
I've followed the prescription quite well, and it does deliver the promised result!
ugh.
Monday, October 15, 2012
How AWANA and Children's Songs Are Misleading Our Children
In similar vein with my post on the Bible, here is a good article by a lady who is working through developing faith "out loud".
I appreciated the post as well as several of the comments afterward.
I also recommend clicking the link in the post and reading that too :0)
For the record, my children have never been to AWANA, & have only attended VBS once. I have some very mixed feelings about them having gone, and am working to remedy in other ways the things that led us to try it out this time.
http://joyinthisjourney.com/2012/10/how-some-churches-are-misleading-our-children/?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=twitter&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+JoyInThisJourney+%28Joy+in+This+Journey%29
I appreciated the post as well as several of the comments afterward.
I also recommend clicking the link in the post and reading that too :0)
For the record, my children have never been to AWANA, & have only attended VBS once. I have some very mixed feelings about them having gone, and am working to remedy in other ways the things that led us to try it out this time.
http://joyinthisjourney.com/2012/10/how-some-churches-are-misleading-our-children/?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=twitter&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+JoyInThisJourney+%28Joy+in+This+Journey%29
Thursday, October 4, 2012
In Which I Talk About Food & Poop
Oh, yes, indeedy.
I’m gonna.
Not because I think you’re all that interested, but because that’s what’s a focus in my life right now.
I’m only half kidding. About it being a focus.
After 8 children, it’s pretty hard to gross me out. And I’m finding that baby poop can tell you a lot that the baby can’t.
I’m gonna.
Not because I think you’re all that interested, but because that’s what’s a focus in my life right now.
I’m only half kidding. About it being a focus.
After 8 children, it’s pretty hard to gross me out. And I’m finding that baby poop can tell you a lot that the baby can’t.
Thursday, September 13, 2012
Letter to Pearl
Baby Pearl...
You and my Caedmon are so close to the same age. Days apart, actually.
The same week I found out Caedmon was breech, I read your sweet Mama's letter about you. My worry and fear about delivering a breech baby seemed so small and frivolous after that.
You and my Caedmon are so close to the same age. Days apart, actually.
The same week I found out Caedmon was breech, I read your sweet Mama's letter about you. My worry and fear about delivering a breech baby seemed so small and frivolous after that.
Monday, September 3, 2012
Links to Things I Like
"What I Wish I Had Known Before I Had Children"
Really. I wish I had known this. BEFORE.
"School & Self Esteem"
This needs to be required reading for anyone who is going to parent, teach, coach, babysit... or just ever be around children at all!
"Unschooling Science Experiments"
I keep finding all these "unschooling" things that describe us! I guess we're unschoolers without knowing it??
Really. I wish I had known this. BEFORE.
"School & Self Esteem"
This needs to be required reading for anyone who is going to parent, teach, coach, babysit... or just ever be around children at all!
"Unschooling Science Experiments"
I keep finding all these "unschooling" things that describe us! I guess we're unschoolers without knowing it??
Sunday, July 22, 2012
Tuesday, April 24, 2012
Productivity Tip! (0;
Wash your dishes right away.
Do NOT leave them until later.
Why?
Because your almost-2-year-old (if you happen to have one) will pull all the clean dishes out of the dish drainer, pile them into the sink, dump the oatmeal bowls you lazily left sitting out on top of them, and fill the sink with water.
and you will smile as you wash dishes with her, because she is so cute when she's so proud of herself for helping you!
Monday, April 9, 2012
I'm going to become The Little Red Hen
This is one of those "good reads" that carry two messages in one. For me anyway...
When I read the title, I immediately thought of the Little Red Hen of "I'll Do It Myself" fame.
Which is what my children really do need right now.
I'm delegating (which I firmly believe is a good thing and which I won't be stopping), but in my pursuit to get 38 hours of living squeezed into 24 hours, with a clean house on the side, I'm pushing too much, too hard, too fast, and it's not (my goal of) working together happily and learning to do the job well and enjoy a job well done. It's more of a scolding Mama asking again "Haven't you done that yet?"
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)